The late William Perry, professor of education at Harvard, used to say, “Whenever someone comes to me for help, I ask myself: What does this person really want, and what will they do to keep from getting it?”
Even when we want to adopt a new behavior that’s aligned with our goals, we often generate the very obstacles that prevent us from achieving them. It could just be that you’re not clear on exactly what to do. Or at some level you feel uneasy about actually making the change.
These obstacles can kick in with any plan for behavior change. The change might be a small one, such as driving a new route to work, or a major commitment, such as adopting a daily exercise program or meditation practice.
Whenever you plan to change any behavior:
Experiment with this modeling technique from the New Behavior Generator Paraliminal:
- 1Think of a model—a person who consistently demonstrates the behavior that will help you achieve your goal. Imagine that person in front of you right now, performing the behavior with mastery.
- 2Carefully check your feelings to make sure this is what you want. Ask yourself, if I could have this resource as my own, would I choose it? If your feelings say no, then modify the behavior until it’s just right.
- 3Now focus on the subtle details of this behavior… the posture involved… the rhythm and tempo of the movements… the quality of the voice… how facial muscles move when your model speaks.
- 4Now put yourself in place of your model. See yourself doing the exact behavior your model demonstrated. Feel yourself using the same muscles… the same posture… the same movements… the same voice.
- 5As you repeat this visualization several times, completely accept the new behavior. Know that it will serve you in positive ways. This rich resource is already available to you, whenever you want it.
To help you more easily achieve what you want in your life, listen to the New Behavior Generator Paraliminal in the MINDTRX app. It includes two sessions, one helps you neutralize behaviors that get in the way of your goals and the other helps you acquire new behaviors to achieve them.
Simply push play, close your eyes, relax, and listen. This closed-eye process activates your "whole mind" with a precise blend of music and words to help you get the most out of every minute.